We are born sensitive
The Creator made all his creations sensitive, responsive to the mutual and endless interactions. The water of the calm lake is sensitive to the wind, you see the multicolor ripples going in a certain way. You see the birds sensitive to the arrival of spring, they know what they need to do, how they need to interact and how to create celebration in each day. The plants are sensitive to the climate, to the light. Humans also are born with a body that is totally sensitive, vulnerable and dependent.
We are born dependent
We are born dependent and helpless. We survive because of this dependency on others. A newborn child will not survive climate or hunger if abandoned. We are dependent, and this dependency is a bargain. We need to give many things on this bargain, and in this dependency, sensitivity is one of them. Family, parents, and society force things on us and we have to yield, otherwise, we will die.
The loss of our sensitivity
The more sensitive the child is, the more trouble for the parents and society. A slight sensation in the body, and he begins to complain. The cry is stopped by the parents and they cannot do anything, and the child feels every sensation so fully, so totally, that makes the parent annoyed. Slowly, this state of pure response is lost. It is especially criticized when the child discovers his/her genitals, the most sensitive part of the body, and it is not welcomed openly and innocently. Parents change in attitude toward the child, they face their own repression, their own uneasiness, and just a severe look from the parents or teachers, and the child will be cutting his/her sensitivity. As we grow, that criticism and lack of support makes us insensitive. Insensitive bodies, mind and emotions.
Bargain for security
So first a bargain is necessary, but at a cost. The second thing we adopt as we lose our sensitivity to respond, not only to the environment but also to ourselves and the divine, is our sense of security.
We feel that if we respond openly, innocently and vulnerable towards our own humanness, we will lose status, independence and security. I have seen couples many times who love each other, who care for each other, but will not demonstrate any of that deep affection to their beloved because they feel naked, they feel insecure, they feel discovered, shameful, and vulnerable. We don’t make a creative expression around celebrating life, or love, or parenthood.
I have met many parents, afraid to please their children with simple things because they feel they will take advantage of them, or they will become too wild. I have seen the same exact process towards the divine. If we express our devotion, joy, and commitment too openly we fear we will lose our image, our security. Everyone, sooner or later, learns that to be sensitive is to be vulnerable to the aspects of life, to joy, to pain. We learn to create a barrier, a safe guard, a safety measure. That is how insensitivity sets in.
The cost of our insensitivity
We don’t realize that our safety net prevents us from connecting to the flow of creation. Divine qualities are only experienced with a certain degree of sensitivity. The more sensitive you become, the more compassion you experience. The more sensitive you relate: the more vulnerable, the more joy.
We need to understand that our pure desire to be compassionate and blissful will not come without the feeling of sensitivity and vulnerability, nor if we are premeditating what to do, or what to say to our relations or towards our own internal process. It is not possible to open one point and to remain closed at another. It is the same organ, the same energy.
To totally create your life, your relationships, your profession and your relationship with your spirit, you need to learn to embrace that sensitivity that will bring you equal amounts of joy and pain. There is no way you can love your creations deeply without risk, nor destruction of that bargain, that safety.
I often see students in art class trying to create a painting without jumping totally into it. They want to keep parameters of beauty and balance without creating certain chaos, certain problems, certain pain, certain discomforts. Then the painting is boring, it’s pretty, but it has no personal language that stands for the uniqueness of the artist.
I see the same thing in students who want to be connected to their own spiritual advancement, they want it but without the discomfort, they want the safety of a formula. They want to meditate but not to become sensitive. We need to relax about the dissolution of that insensitivity and learn to take risks in different aspects of life to truly be able to tap into the nature of our Creator and our creations.