5 tips to balance the perfecionist
The dual mind gives birth to personality. The personality animates, interprets and gives shape to your reality. You give yourself a persona that interacts with others and with your environment. Attachment or identification ( I am only this)with a persona-ability gives a sense of a false I or me.
The personality creates needs, desires and hidden agendas for you to perform in order to be happy, or loved.
One of the voices of a persona is “ I need to be right” in order to be happy.
Under the influence of this voice you want to have every thing in order, all the of tasks completed, all missions accomplished, all of the environments in control, or all the disorders sorted out; it is an inner voice that dictates, rules and commands you to be perfect and to be right.
Whatever your sense of perfection is, inside of you there a voice of “never enough “ ,and none of your accomplishments really impress you. You become greedy in your daily missions to achieve more of that right, perfect moment, with the right people or circumstances, just to gain a bit of self-respect, self-worth and happiness.
However,the disadvantage of this attitude is that in order for you to know if you are really right you need to always put yourself, your life and your relationships on trial. Is this good? Is this bad? Is this proper? or not?. This constant trial debilitates your intuition, the joy and the spontaneous play of the moment.
For you there are some things that you judge to be definitely not good, like demonstrating anger, confrontation or wholly displaying the fullness of your feelings. You therefore, attempt to control or repress this instinctual energy. You feel that you must stay in control at all times. You would like to direct these energies according to the dictates of your highly developed inner critic and you hold yourself and others to this standard.
You may resist being affected by your natural instinctual drives, consciously not giving in to them or expressing them too freely. The result of this constriction is problems with repression, resistance, and aggression. You may be seen by others as highly self- controlled, even rigid, although this is not how you experience yourself to be.
What is it you are really looking for?
This tendency is raised to the roof when you had not understood, developed or honored your internal leadership potentials properly.
You are actually an activist who is searching for an acceptable rationale for what you feel you must do.
1.- You wish to be useful in the best sense of the word. On some level of consciousness, you feel an “inner mission” to fulfill in life, but this can only achieved if you do your best to reduce the disorder in the environment, or to make others feel a certain way about you.
Although you may have a strong sense of purpose, you also typically feel that you have to justify your actions to you, and often to others as well. This orientation causes you to spend a lot of time thinking about the consequences of your actions, as well as about how to keep from acting contrary to you convictions. Because of this, you remain in your head, rationalizing everything and proceeding in life only on logic and objective truth.
2.- You are a leader looking to make some reforms or implement something new based on justice and fairness.
3.-You are looking to see everyone equally right and equally happy. Your sense of justice and integrity is one quality that can impart great inspiration to others. It can serve as a leading stone to develop new visions and new self-expansions.
4.- You are seeking to rebel and apply your passions to social or personal transformation.
Yes, rebel towards the inner critic that cuts your heart, your self -compassion and your self-nourishment.
5.- You are looking to acknowledge your ac compliments in a fair and nourishing way.
5 tips you can use to balance your perfectionist.
First I must say that there is no right or wrong in your approach, take it as an experiment to give yourself and as an opportunity for exploration and spontaneous expression.
Detach a bit from the HOW and simply give space for yourself to experience what is in front of you instead of jumping ahead with assumptions.
1-. Don’t take your to do list too seriously and set priorities. You still can do your activities, but without the intention of “ I am the only one who can do it” “” it has to be done now”. “ If I don’t do it I don’t know what to do with myself.”
2.- Engage in any art form or expression that facilitates for you a safe exploration and expression of your feelings.
Paint, theater or improvisation can be wonderful for you.
3.- Be aware of your inner trial and smile at it.
Your habit of seeing reality under the scope of this trial is constant , especially in moments of change or when you embark into new projects. Just be aware of it and while reassuring that voice that you have heard it, trying others ways of response.
4.- Ask your self for 10 consecutive days, what is your mission in life, if you could have all the freedom of the world, what you really would like to do. Satisfy your sense of purpose but set smaller attainable goals. If you are already living your mission, praise your accomplishments and reduce your greed.
5.- Keep your muscular system and mind fit.
The muscular system holds strength and a sense of presence, by exercising them you will feel inner accomplishment that translates into vitality and a general sense of well being. Of course regular practices of meditation will surely give you the perspective and direction you need to be a compassionate, expressive and sharp leader.
Overall ,accept yourself the way you are, don’t try to change your ways, know that this personality is just a little part of your entire being that you are not trapped into. By meditating, a new sense of self emerges, giving the personality the rank that it deserves and the direction it needs for your personal fulfillment.