Connecting with others is a sense of being open and available to another person, even as you feel that person is open and available to you. Other ingredients of human connection are empathy and compassion, where we feel goodwill towards the person we are connecting with. An emotional connection is a bundle of subjective feelings that create a bond between two people, yourself or your life. 

As a human, we had survived because of connect-ability. Our sense of wellness comes with the inner security that we can connect with our life and the subjects and circumstances we encounter. All our atoms, particles and planks are immersed in a dance of connectivity. We are a result of that perpetual connectivity and dynamics.

This natural and powerful attribute of creation sustains diversity, and it is the base for creating our lives. Every choice we make creates a new perpetual connection, new possibilities of being.

Misplacement of connect-ability

We have the power to create the life we wish to have and the world in which we want to live, but we use this incredible connective power against ourselves. We use it to keep control, that is, ‘my way is the only way; I am right.’

Control is an infantile perception of reality.

This control can start early in life; when, as children, we blame ourselves for the dysfunctionality around us rather than to feel powerless. Self-blame is just a way of controlling our life, which we feel we have no control over. If we have suffered any abuse as children, faced with complete vulnerability and powerlessness, we develop defence mechanisms. Self-blame is a way to take control over what may seem like unbearable situations. Abused children often are overweight as adults as a way of keeping control and not feeling powerless. 

Exalted personalities (I am better than others) can also use control to avoid core feelings such as shame and powerlessness. Some use their power to manipulate and control others, again as an avoidance.

So, power and control are inextricably linked. We use our connect-ability power to defend our control mechanisms and false identities, such as the victim, as if defending life itself. We may be afraid that we will be back in either the abusive situation or other situations where we felt powerless if we give up control. We are, in fact, so powerful at doing this that we continually manifest life situations to justify why we need to keep control. 

Conscious Choice

But, with the power of connection also comes choice. We are born with tremendous power and the freedom to use it the way we wish to. For most, to hear that they are continually choosing life situations, even down to the last detail, and that their life is a direct reflection of their belief systems that they have chosen to empower, they react with anger and disbelief. Most people blame outside situations because they have convinced themselves that they have had no control over these situations.

Taking response-ability

As we grow in awareness and begin to understand that we are the creators and that our responses are the only free choice we have, we move a step closer to realizing that we are free. 

First Stage

This first stage of our freedom is to honestly know what belief systems we are using to create our life. This stage can be very frustrating; because here, even if we see that we are creating situations that we may dislike, they continue to manifest seemingly beyond our control. They seem beyond our control because our absolute control over them, which we believe we can’t control, enslaves and exploits us.

The next and what may seem like the most challenging and even impossible thing to do is to give up this control. As I have said all along here, it all comes down to control, and although we do it mostly unconsciously, it is to realize that it is our absolute control that we think we can’t control, which is controlling us. 

But there is another way.

Fighting the Current

There was once a world where people lived under the current of a great river. From birth, they were taught that to survive; they needed to find a good rock to hang on to; because, if they ever let go, they would face a certain gruesome and painful death by being taken by the powerful current and crushed upon the rocks downstream. This way of life went on for eons, and people were supported in their belief that they needed to hang on to, by their history books.

One day a person decided that there must be more to life than to fight the current continually and that he would rather die upon the rocks than continue to live this limiting existence. Letting go, he was immediately taken into the powerful current and was tossed around at first. Still not resisting, the current flow quickly raised him to the surface where he was safely moving high above the rocks below. Not only was he safe, but he saw that there was a whole new world above the river. 

He then started telling those below that they were still hanging on and that all they needed to do was to let go, that they would be safe, that life can be effortless, and a whole new world waiting to be discovered above the water.

As he flowed past telling them this, some people listened but thought it was impossible; others thought it was too risky and was just not for them. Some wrote down that there was once a great Messiah who came past and taught them that they could be free. 

So how do we give up control, and what then is the undistorted power of connection? 

The Mechanics of Connectivity

Loving or accepting the tyrant within is not only a step to surrender but an exercise of compassion. It is a powerful connection to what troubles you that relaxes the tension within. This Love is active; it frees a sense of guidance, purpose and meaning. It gives rhythm to our hearts and inspiration to our wisdom.

No matter what, we need to boldly and continually follow and act upon our passions by doing what excites us the most in life. This will inevitably bring our belief systems to the surface as they confront us with all their reasons why not. We can drop our belief systems, now in the open, where we can identify them for what they are. This is the first stage previously described. Seismic (is the effect of realizing that our belief system is controlling our life, but the next step truly opens the gate to connectivity.

Second stage

The next stage is not to have a stance of a pre-conceived outcome. It is always to see and accept that whatever happens, even if unpleasant, is exactly what we need to learn from at that particular moment. It is to see it as always positive no matter what. It is not what happens; it is what we do with what happens. Suppose we view it as a negative experience and as something wrong. In this case, we need to fix and alter something, and we fall back into the cycles of control, re-magnetizing the negative where it will continue to manifest, seemingly against our will. Still, it is, in reality, precisely the opposite.

As we surrender our notion of outcome and accept what always comes in a positive light, then automatically our frequency rises, our world changes around us. We can then attract and turn challenges into new opportunities and immediately act upon our passion.

The power of connectivity is surrendering to the flow of our higher selves where we can finally realize we are free.